My boyfriend has a crush on someone else

In this life, only two things are certain.

I have been with my partner for a couple of years now, and he has several high school friends who visited from out of state recently who I got to finally meet. His best friend has a sister who lives in our area, who met up with us as well for lunch and came with his whole crew and us to the bar afterwards. I was sitting between him and her at lunch, and the vibe got really flirty between them. He got sort of giggly and lit up while talking to her, asking her questions about her life, just seeming way too interested. On the way to the bar he and I rode together. I tried to ask him about it and he insisted he had not flirted with her and we got in a pretty big fight on the way to the bar. So it was tense between us for the rest of the outing which was several hours.

My boyfriend has a crush on someone else

What is within your control is how you handle the crush. Do you obsess over it, or do you just acknowledge it and then carry on with your life? Note that in this piece, we are focusing on couples in monogamous, exclusive relationships. In open or polyamorous arrangements , the rules may differ; acting on crushes may be permissible or even encouraged. It may have more to do with you and your family or relationship history than it does with the person. A crush that starts innocently enough might begin to cross the line into emotional affair territory if left unchecked. One telltale sign: When you get news, good or bad, is your first instinct to tell your crush or your partner? So what should you do if you suspect your feelings are more serious? For starters, do not reveal this to your crush, Hardie-Williams said. Have a strategy planned for exiting a social situation if things are heading in a direction where the line could be crossed. Our experts insist there is no black-and-white answer here.

Go to Homepage. I again brought up the flirty behavior between him and her about a week later, and finally got it out of him-he admitted that he has had a crush on her since high school, that she gives him butterflies, and that they made out one time a few years back but that he never went any further with her.

Most of us go through it and never tell a soul. We might joke about our fascination with a friend or go a little out of our way to feel confident when our target is near — brushing on mascara though we typically go bare-lashed, opting for a push-up instead of a boob-squashing bralette. Crushes are powerful things — just ask every teenager ever — and when we experience that power, we have a couple of options. Phillips, author of the thorough, daring, and fascinating book Unrequited: Women and Romantic Obsession , has to say on the matter. Phillips offers an example: Say you had an erratic, unpredictable father, so you marry someone hyper-stable and together. If you start crushing on this guy, it might be because you have unfinished business with your father.

Jenni Jacobsen is a licensed social worker with a master's degree in social work from The Ohio State University, and she is in the process of completing her dissertation Read More. Sylvia Smith shares insights on love revitalization and conscious living. She believes purposeful actions can transform relationships into happier, healthier ones. The heart has a way of leading us into uncharted territory, igniting feelings and emotions we may not always expect or desire.

My boyfriend has a crush on someone else

Most of us go through it and never tell a soul. We might joke about our fascination with a friend or go a little out of our way to feel confident when our target is near — brushing on mascara though we typically go bare-lashed, opting for a push-up instead of a boob-squashing bralette. Crushes are powerful things — just ask every teenager ever — and when we experience that power, we have a couple of options.

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That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls. The same vibe came up with the two of them at the bar, he seemed very interested in talking to her and not to me. About The Dr. If, for example, what you really want is to have more exciting sex with your partner, or if you and your partner fight about the kitchen renovation every evening after work, then the issue is that, and your crush is just the symptom. International U. At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. Learn how your comment data is processed. Back in college I had the worst, most agonizing crush on a total idiot. No Comment Leave a reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. The bottom line, Phillips says, is that crushers need to go easy on themselves.

We can help you with pressing concerns that are affecting your relationships - with a partner, a child, a family member or friend. Relate has local Centres across the UK. The services each centre provides vary because each centre tailors their services - such as couples counselling, sex therapy and counselling for children and young people - to the needs of their local community.

Read more in our Privacy Policy. We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon. About The Dr. Or texting someone more often than you used to. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Amplifying Our Voices food home shopping. Simply having a crush on another person—fantasizing about dating them, fucking them, and conveniently forgetting to fantasize about how they leave dirty clothes everywhere and have an annoying best friend—is safe and healthy and horny. He then did some weird privacy setting changes such as hiding his friends list that was previously visible. They were just a body I projected a hot personality onto. While your boyfriend sounds like he can be romantic, he is also closed off and defensive. Your boyfriend does not sound like he wants you to be part of his general social life.